Pre- Colorado Trail Through Hike: Thoughts, Worries, and Other Reflections



Pre- Colorado Trail Through Hike: Thoughts, Worries, and Other Reflections

 

I'm roughly 2 weeks out from my Colorado Trail through hike with my dog, Pacer.  Since my boyfriend and I have family coming into town and staying with us until the time we leave, I figured I better right my pre-blog now.

 

When I originally thought about writing this blog, I thought it would be a good idea as I figured I had a relatively unique perspective of a "kind-of" solo female, newbie backpacker with a dog.  Then I realized I wasn't that unique.  Not only are there quite a few women who backpack solo, but both Jennifer Phar Davis and Cheryl Strayed are two of the most famed backpackers in the country after writing their best-selling books (that I deeply enjoyed reading and have been a great inspiration to me).

 

I figured I'd write anyway...

 

In case this gets long, I broke up what I have to say (or type) in different sections, so you can just read what interests you most.

 

WHY

While the CT is much shorter that many thru-hikes (like the Appalachian Trail) at 486 miles (with many options to add on) many people will still wonder...why would anyone want to hike everyday for a month without a shower, possibilities of thunderstorms, snow, and bear encounters, relatively crappy food options (I'm pretty sure it will taste amazing after hiking for hours), do "business" behind a tree, and be totally unconnected with the rest of the world?

 

Well, to be free of course.

 

To not have to worry, whether it's my issues, other's, or the world's.

 

To not be concerned about what I see in the mirror but only what my powerful,beautiful body is doing and feeling.

 

To learn what the trail has to teach.

 

To learn what my heart has to tell me when I'm not hooked up to wires and electrical airwaves.

 

Because even with all my new gear purchases, it's still a whole lot cheaper (and more exciting) than a meditation camp- not saying I'll never try one.

 

And if I don't do it now, when?

 

The opportunity to be with my dog and see the beauty of our new home for a month is just too enticing to pass up...though I almost did, but more on that later.

 

So how did I get this idea in my head?

 

Well, reading Becoming Odyssa and Wild definitely played a role.  Then there was my Mt. Kilimanjaro summit a few years ago, when I first had a glimpse of the clarity and peace one feels when being outside and becoming part of the earth for a few days. 

 

But really, I am going to blame my friend Kelly. 

 

 Back in Ohio, I believe in December, she was volunteering for Girls on the Run where I was the Volunteer Coordinator and we got to talking.  Kelly used to live in Colorado and had numerous adventures around the state...including a CT thru-hike with her dog. 

 Seed planted, watered, and growing.

 

A few months later when I was certain I was moving out West, I was also "almost" certain of my own thru-hike. Which leads to the next section...

 

WORRIES

I'd say I am a natural worry, but that seems way too limiting, like it can't be changed.  But before I get off topic, I'll just sat I'm working on it.  For now, let's just look at the fears I had that threatened to

keep me from my adventure.

 

Money:  At the current moment, I don't have a whole lot.  Admittedly, it been partly by choice.  I was determined to work at a non-profit and stay away from traditional 8-5 jobs that would pay me more. When I looked at my budget for this adventure I asked myself "Can I afford this?"  Answer: "Barely."

 

Then another question came to me.  I asked myself "Can I afford NOT to do this?"  Answer: a resounding "NO".

 

Abduction:  It sounds a little silly when you first read that word, but put yourself in a 27 year old women's shoes for a second and it seems pretty sane.  One of the first things I did was email the CT organization and asked if it was a concern.  In an email back, they let me know that they never had a reported incident.  In the end, I used the same rationalization whenever I run or hike by myself: 1) It's much more likely I'd be attacked in the city and 2) because the risk is quite low, it is one I am willing to take.

 

Bears:  The CT organization also told me they've never heard of an aggressive encounter with a bear reported.  I just need to properly store my food.  Plus, Kelly and my sister told me numerous times it's really not something I need to worry about.  I'll probably see one, but they want nothing to do with me.

 

Mountain Lions:  They've only been spotted from a distance on the CT, so I'm just going to believe that that tradition is going to continue.

 

With that, I still have my weapons:

1) Common Sense

2) Bear Spray

3) Knife

4) Hiking poles (though at night they'll be used as part of my tent)

5) Pacer (she scared away a cub in Aspen- at least I think it was a cub.  It happened within a few seconds quickly)

My current main worry: Hypothermia
I think when I first imagined this hike, I was picturing the 300+ plus days of sun that CO is reported to have.  Then I remembered I'd be up 10-13,000 ft most of the hike with afternoon thunderstorms and the possibility of snow.  Not a huge deal for most people, but I'm one of those people who just seem to run cold.  I've touched on hypothermia several times already, but have usually been able to get myself out of the situation (dropping out of a race and jumping in someone's car, running down a mountain, etc).  This time, I simply have to do all that I can to be prepared.  I'll be bringing several warm layers, bought a new insulated jacket, rain jacket, sleeping bag, and water-proof mittens. 
I've also been wearing my Mt. Kilimanjaro bracelet the past few days to remind myself that if I can survive (though barely) the cold and 19,000 feet, I can survive being at 13,000+ ft in the San Juans for a few days straight (and it will be beautiful!).

FOOD
My regular diet (my daily food menu, not restricted calorie plan) contains lots of veggies, fruits, beans, nuts, and organic grains.  I'm a plant based eater- aka, vegetarian and vegan.  Obviously, my normal food affair isn't exactly going to work while backpacking for a month.  However, that doesn't mean I'm going to Ramen noodles, Snickers, and other chemical ridden foods.  For breakfast, I'll be packing organic Oats mixed with dried fruits, nuts, spices, chia, and flax seeds.  I'll have some tea and instant coffee packets on hand if I ever need a boost too.  For my 4-5 snacks per day, I'll bring Cliff Bars (not THE best, but affordable, good ingredients, and tastes good), dried fruit (heavy on the nuts for protein, dates (these babies pack a lot of calories with nutrients), and probably a few wraps made with nut butter or hummus when I can.  Dinner is where I am really proud of myself...I'll be bring quick organic brown rice from Trader Joe's, mixed with some quinoa and dehydrated beans AND veggies from Harmony House Foods.  It's not organic, but the Backpacking Kit was a great deal and I'm very happy to have found it!

As my boyfriend has been kind enough to offer to drop of my first resupply package 6 days in,  I'll only have to send out 2 more supply packages.  (Yes, we'll have to carry quite a bit of food but I'm not keen on the idea of hitchhiking into some of the further towns.  My two pick up stores are right off the trail.)

O, and I have to mention food storage... after debating my options of a canister (pricey, heavy, but easy to use), bear bag (cheap, light, but a pain in the butt to throw in a tree), or Ursak (pricey, light, and convenient), I went with the Ursak.  It had a great reviews and I figured it would last a  long time as well.
 

 DOG STUFF
As Pacer is my baby, I did my research on backpacking with dogs and spent a bit more mula than planned...
The first thing to note is that by choosing to hike the CT with Pacer, I made it HER hike.  She comes first.  If she gets tired, we stop and take a rest or even a rest day if needed.  If she gets hurt, either our hike ends there or my boyfriend will pick her up. Whatever happens, she comes first.

As for her food, she's carrying it.  Right now I'm still planning on her regular kibble from Acana, but I might mix in some freeze dried food to make it lighter.  I'll also always pack a little extra in my snack bags to share with her.  Because she is carrying her own food, I ended up getting her the best pack I could find.  There's a ton of packs out there, and I was temped to get one for $30.  After looking into it more, I new I wanted one with a harness, detachable pack, cushions on the straps to prevent chaffing, and good quality.  Everything I read lead to the Palasides Pack by Ruffwear.  It cost $150, but in all our training hikes (including 27 miles around the Maroon Bells in Aspen) it worked great and Pacer always seemed comfortable.
I also read that there were 2 reasons dogs didn't finish thru-hikes: 1) they ran loose without staying by their owners and got tired out and 2) the pads of their feet got torn up.
Pacer has gone through quite a bit of training, so for the most part, she stays near me.  As for #2, I ended up purchasing the Ruffwear  Summit Trek booties for $50.  I liked these the best as they had liners that go about 2 inches above the paw to help prevent rocks and snow from sneaking in.  We have not had the chance to test these out in the field yet.
 

Showin' off the new kicks.

Rockin' the Ruffwear Palisides Pack.

 

 
 


TRAINING
I wanted to make sure Pacer was physically up for the hike, so we've done a few 14ers, several long hikes (building up in distance), and short power hikes up Green Mountain and Mt. Sanitas with runs downhill.  We've both tried out our packs with weight in them as well.  Pacer much rather hike a 14er where it is cool rather than a short hike in Boulder in the direct sun, so I think she'll be just fine.

Other than our hikes, I'm banking on our endurance from running.  I also do a strength training video (thank you Youtube) 2-3x per week, plus Yoga once or twice (thank you Prana and Noelle for the awesome Tuesday class).

 

Pacer enjoying the views on our 27 mile Maroon Bells day hike.

  

 GEAR
At the current moment, I can't find my gear list.  What I will say is I ended up buying a lot. 
My original plan was to borrow as much as possible from my sister and boyfriend, but then I realized I'd be happier hiking with either lighter, better fitting, or warmer stuff.  Of course, I still bought almost everything on sale.
My big purchase were:
Sierra Design Flashlight 1 Tent (2.9 oz when using hiking pole)
Mountain Hardwear Nitrous Hooded Jacket
REI Lyra Sleeping Bag (22 deg)-  I found out that there are different ratings for men and women (about a 12 degree difference).
Lowe Alpine Backpack (not sure the model)- Sierra Trading Post
Rain Jacket and Pants- Sierra Trading Post
Mittens- Sierra Trading Post
Ursack (bear proof bag)
 

JOURNAL
My main two "luxury" items will be a book and a journal.  I plan to visit a used book store next week.  I'll take one with me and put the others with my resupply.  Since they are used, I can either pass them on to another hike, burn the pages for fire, or feed it to a recycle been.

The journal is probably the key piece, incase I ever forget the wisdom of the trail when I get back the world of technology.  I'm also planning on writing a few personal questions down before I begin my hike and see if my mind/conscience naturally reveals the answers to me as the miles go by.

Pacer is now licking my hand so I guess that's a signal to wrap things up.  I'm sure I'll have more thoughts and pictures to share after our adventure.



Happy Trails,


Rachel & Pacer (aka Supergirl)

Part 3: Confessions of an Uninjured, Injured, Broken, but Iron-Willed Runner

Intro:

I never know where to start a blog for a 100 miler.  It's like trying to take 100 years of life and deciding just where to begin your story.  Plus, the first few miles of the race were dark and not very exciting.  Then some miles, just like years, are uneventful, some beautiful, and some just plain hard. 

To make this blog not 100 pages, I think I'll jump around a bit. Don't worry, it shouldn't be too hard to follow (though I did just have a wine, cherry juice, sparkling water combo). I'll add in some details of the course, but if you've read anything of mine before, you know I prefer to write what's going on in my mind.  Here we go!
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Massanutten Mountain Trails 103.7- May 16-17, 2015

"I want to push myself to the limits, and if things don't work out, then I can give up.  But I can do everything I can until the bitter end.  That is how I live." - Haruki Murakumi 

(First thing I read after MMT, the opening quote for "Learning to Fly".)

My thoughts on Massanutten are still scrambled in my head.  It took me 33.5 hrs.  Even though I am not in the best physical condition, that's ALOT longer than it should have taken me.

Going in to the run, I knew it was going to be harder than I expected.  Yes, I know that sounds contradictory, but I knew I couldn't wrap my head around the rocks.  As soon as we go off the paved road and on to the trail, I knew I was right.

The Pre-Story: Aka, Everything Before 79

In the dark, with others behind me, I kept stumbling and falling.  By mile 5, I had tweaked my freshly pulled calf muscle (done on Tuesday) enough that for the next 50 miles, I'd have periods where I'd feel like the muscle was popping out of my leg.

For the most part, I could deal with the pain.  Still, after tripping and falling, by the time I passing the 20 mile mark with bloody knees, I knew I was going to be out there longer than originally expected.  Partially because I sucked at maneuvering around rocks, partly because my calf hurt, and partially because I had no extra spark in my legs.

I did my best to enjoy the climbs, the beautiful moments I was on the crest over-looking the forest, and the brief periods of nice, runnable downhill.

50kish- I think

At mile 53ish, it started to poor.  This was welcome from most folks as just previously we had been baking in the sun.  However, I was going up, up, up and my main worry is always getting cold.  I prayed it would stop as I started my hike up, chatting with another runner from Ohio near my age, about future plans (he was in a low period, but otherwise much smarter for having come out to some of the training runs and experiencing the terrain).  I had to laugh...he said after this, he'd love to train for speed again, having been anemic his senior year of XC.  I was anemic my junior year, before turning to ultras.  I only got a glimpse of my speed, with my coach predicting the possibility of running a sub-20 5k by the end of the season.  That goal quickly faded.  Now, with the current state of my hip, speed is only a dream for me.  I told him if I ever figured out my hip issues, I was training for a 5k!

Anyway, by the time I reached the crest, the clouds parted and I had a heavenly view of the Massanutten Mountains.  Briefly, I felt that luck was on my side.

Mile 79: The Story Begins

At mile 79, my body completely shut-down, as in "switched to off" and there was nothing I could do to turn in back on. For the next 25 miles, only my spirit remained strong.

It is disheartening to know my body could destruct like that.  After Black Hills 100, I thought I had been through the worst. My stomach may not have been quite so bad this time around, but really, Black Hills was just a glimpse of how bad it could get...and what I could survive.

Maybe I should have stopped at Mile 50, with my calf pushing out of my leg.  It would have been understandable. It probably would have been smart. But you never know what is going to happen after 50....

The question in my head was one of pride and values.

I could DNF, calling it a bad day.  DNF's happen.  Then my finishing place wouldn't matter.

Or, I could keep going, changing my goal to just finish, no matter my pain or place.

Luckily, I have reviewed my values enough that there wasn't much of a decision to be made.  I value endurance- continuing despite the challenges the lay ahead, the challenges that uncover what one is made of. 

I had to try.

(By no means am I saying I made the right decision, and especially not the right decision for everyone.  If I was an elite with other races ahead, dropping would have been an easy choice.  I also would like to think that I would have been able to stop if I really felt like something was wrong...I'm not so sure.)

Things were going okay up until mile 79.  It was dark and I was stumbling, but I could still run.  At the aid station, I met my angel/pacer (then a stranger) for the next 25 miles.  We left the friendly volunteers to begin our climb to the next aid station, only 3.5 miles or so. 

Suddenly, my heart was pounding and I was light headed.  I was yawning- tired and feeling like I couldn't get enough oxygen.  My muscles seemed to have lost all power.

I told my pacer I need to stop and I sat on a rock with my head between my knees.  This must have lasted at least 10 minutes, as other passed us.

We considered going back, but mentally, I couldn't.  Going back was just not possible.  Figuratively, I couldn't event wrap my mind around what going back meant...I just knew the mental pain would be worse than the physical.

Ever so slowly, with stops so I wouldn't faint, we continued on.  We followed this pattern for the remainder of the race.

Those miles were excruciatingly slow.  I was confused and frustrated.  My legs wouldn't even let me speed walk.  Our pace must have been 2 mi/hr, at best.  The quads and hamstrings that I thought were strong, forbade me.  I nearly crawled on a long, smooth stretch of downhill, perfect for running. 

My legs just wouldn't work.

I continued to take stops so my head would stop spinning.

There were times when I thought about stopping.  When I really thought I must be toying with death.  Still, I didn't really think of all the reasons to quit, only reasons to keep going.

1) I really didn't want to have to come back & I really wanted to wear my MMT shirt.
2)  Sandi and I raised over $1.000 for GOTR- I owed it to my supporters and future GOTR girls to give it my best shot.
4) I always tell my girls "you don't have to be the best, you just have to try your best".  I had to walk my talk.
3) I simply had to try, to see what my soul was capable of.

I was trying, with all 1% I had left. 

Now that I look back, I think my body went into of form of self-preservation,  Who knows what damage I would have done otherwise?

The funny thing is those, that even in those long hours, I don't remember thinking about much else, as I usually do when running.  I remember being a bit annoyed, continually getting asked "Is this your first?" (meaning my first MMT).  It made me feel like a newbie.  Yes, MMT was hard, but I had been on other tough courses. I also thought of Sandi and Steve, knowing they were watching their computer screens and starting to worry about me. Other than that though, my sole focus was moving forward.  I would look up at the next hills, possibly whisper a "shit", and keep going. 

As the sun rose, more and more runners passed, especially in the last 3 miles of road.  I tried to run, but I couldn't.

I felt weak.  I felt strong.  Despite my broken body, somehow I had willed my way through the past 12 hours.  My spirit was powerful.

As I finished, I thanked my pacer, knowing it would never be enough.  If it wasn't for him, I knew it was likely that my body might still be curled up beside a rock.

********************

A few hours later:

When I called Sandi at the top of a view point overlooking Luray (the Ouray of the East) as I began my journey to Washington DC, I started telling her about the race.  I began to tell her of my journey, but almost instantly I started crying. Actually, I wept.  All I could get out was "it was so hard" knowing she was one of the 2 people knowing I didn't mean the course.  I had been holding in my tears for so long, not really sure what they were from...disappointment, anger, pain, joy, relief. 

Steve of course was my second phone call, the only other person who knew what limits I had pushed.  Kindly, he paid for my hotel so I'd be a bit better refreshed for my tour of DC the next day, as my original plan was to camp.

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The ego is a funny thing.  Not long after finishing, and even during part of the last 25 miles, I felt embarrassed.  I thought of other thoughts on me: What is wrong with her?  She's slow, I thought she was supposed to be good! 

Of course, I was reflecting the negative perception in my own head.  I knew I should be proud of myself for what I had achieved, but instead the thought "why am I not better?' kept entering my mind. 

I know I am good enough, or just plain "enough".  I just need to believe it.

"The world breaks everyone and afterward, we are stronger in the broken places" -Ernest Hemingway

************

Afterward:  New Adventures

After training hard, or rather, putting my body through torture since junior high, I am quite certain it starting to break down.  Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous at 27, but that's the signal it is giving me.  It's time to take a step back from ultras, hopefully figure out my hip, and let my body reset.

Of course, I do have one more adventure in mind.  Pacer and I are moving to Boulder, CO next week (just 10 minutes away from Sandi!) and I can't just past up the opportunity to explore summer in the mountains.  Hiking will take up most of the next few months, until it starts to get cold again and I can better resist the urge to explore.

We have particular route in mind...

Even since reading "Becoming Odyssa" I've wanted to do a through hike.  I also missed the clarity I had in my thoughts after climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro. I wanted to feel true beauty again, the kind you can only get after moving your body for hours on end, feeling its power, not shaving and never looking in the mirror. 

Then, a few months ago my friend told me she hiked the Colorado Trail with her dog. The seed was planted.  Pacer and I were going to hike the CT in August at a relatively easy pace of roughly 20 miles per day.

At 500 miles, it's challenging but not a huge time commitment.  Enough time to feel scared and hopefully overcome that fear, let my head clear from it's usual chatter, and just be one with nature and my dog.

 

 

Pacer and I training for our hike!



As I end this blog, I'm realizing the end is just as difficult to write as the beginning.  Maybe because it's not the end.  Actually, I think it is a new beginning.

Taking Flight,

Rachel