Valentine's Day, the day for SoleMates.
I went out to train in the blizzard today and I probably went longer than I should have. I was disappointed when my hip started bothering me with a moderate pain, especially in the short road section. But what can I do but trust and surrender? I am signed up to run MMT100 and as a SoleMate. God will do what is right for me and what happens will happen (but I really hope it includes my hip and glute/hamstring feeling better and running strong at MMT).
Now to make dinner for my other furry soulmate!
3/31/2015 Training log entry
"check, disaster, but check (12.75- extra on MB trails trying to keep my hip together)@ Bedford +20 min strength"
(I had a 6-7 mile tempo scheduled, but my hip tightened almost instantly, altering my stride. It took forever, the tempo didn't really happen despite never stopping, and I did my best not to cry during and after the run.)
4/11/2015
Had a beautiful run at Mo25k. Of course had to stop and stretch on the 3/4 mile of road, but o well!
4/18/2015
Had a wonderful time at Leatherwood 50. There was more road than I thought and my leg/hip wasn't having it, but on a particularly rough road section (flat and in the sun) a beautiful yellow butterfly came out to help guide me along the way.
4/23/2015
I asked Nancy (my physical therapist) how optimistic she was about my hip impingement. She gave her honest answer. It's hard to get the edema down while I am still running. Even with a break, there is no way to know for sure. We are just going to do our best to have things go as best as possible at Massanutten.
I hope I can get a more solid answer/solution in Boulder. If I need to have surgery, hopefully God will help me find a way to pay for it.
"I have everything I need to be happy and fulfilled."
I miss feeling fast.
God, Universe, Mother Earth, Whoever, please let there be faster miles ahead and a more peaceful me.
New Goal: To be THANKFUL for every step of my 100 miles,
5/1/2015
This has not been an easy week training. Besides not having a pair of shoes that fit, my butt has hurt causing my hip to hurt/tighten, causing stride issues (at least I think that is the order). I spent $25 on dry needling today- hopefully that helps.
5/13/2015 Wednesday before MMT
I saw Dr. Lear again on Monday. We decided not to go through with another cortisone shot but he prescribed oral cortisone, which I wasn't going to take until...
Still no next steps. I'll figure that out in Boulder. Surgery would involve cutting through muscles and tendons to get to the bone, possibly leaving me weaker, so not an option. Idk what the options are.
Is the hitch in my step caused by the impingement, the tear, or improper mechanics?
On Tuesday, I pulled my calf on a stride. Now I really am injured! Today I ran okay for the first 2 flat, downhill miles but then had to stop as the pain shot through my calf (it feels like a permanent cramp). It will be okay, I know it will. But yes, I ended up getting the medicine from Dr. Lear today.
5/15/2015
I didn't write in my journal the day before MMT, but I did write this letter to my SoleMate supporters:
"Dear SoleMate Supporters,
It has been a beautiful, but not easy 3 months and 1 day (we signed up to be SoleMates on February 14th) for Sandi and I.
As I mentioned in my last letter, I have been challenged by the impingement and tear in my hip, which has not gotten better despite hours of physical therapy. While I was dealing with that, Sandi (without ever complaining!) went through PT, tests, needles, and a recent surgery on her Achilles tendon. Finally, she is on the healing path.
Still, she always encouraged me, giving me a “way to tough it out” even when I was near tears after workouts because my hip wouldn’t let me do to the workout to the effort I desired.
Thankfully, I also had Girls on the Run and my team of 12 girls to remind of lessons that I had forgotten.
On the workouts I was frustrated with my hip, I was reminded to practice “gratitude”. To be thankful for what I could do, for my strong legs and powerful mind that always carried me forward. This past month, I have felt so blessed to spend time in my beloved Cuyahoga Valley National Park and watch the trees, flowers, and animals spring into life.
On days I felt bad about my body, not feeling fit for a runner, I was reminder to “value what is really important”. I remembered that I was smart, compassionate, and loving, qualities that overrode x10 how I felt about my stomach.
On days that I didn’t feel good enough, that my speed has been slipping away every year since my hip started bugging me, I remembered the laps I ran with my team with a slip of paper that read “I run the right pace for me”. I used “SBLR” (stop, breathe, listen, respond) to halt the negative voices in my head, and replace it with a new positive phrases like “I am enough”.
Then, a few weeks back I was once again caused to reflect on my life and it’s meaning. A daughter,Ally, of one of our GOTR coaches passed away at only 21, on a hiking trip while studying abroad in New Zealand. Despite barely knowing the coach and never meeting her daughter, it hit me hard.
I realized that she could have been, could have been a friend, could have been Sandi. When someone dies so young, what does her life mean? What happens to her dreams?
I found consolation by words of her family at her memorial service. I found out she was like me in more ways than I had thought, not just being passionate about adventure, but also had a devote love for animals (even preaching veganism :) ).
Her mom, dad, and sister, reminded all 200+ of us at the memorial to “love deeply” and “live courageously”. I realized her dreams did not stop with her death, but was passed on to all of us.
With that, I only have 2 goals for Massanutten 100 tomorrow. I simply want to do my best (as I tell my GOTR girls to do, not worrying about the finish place) and to be thankful for each step I have been blessed enough to take.
Finally, Sandi and I have one more announcement. We surpassed our goal of raising $1,111 for GOTR scholarships!
As I am leaving GOTR of Greater Summit next month to be reunited with the rest of my heart and soulmate (and twin) in Colorado next month, it means the world to me that I can give this one last gift. It is my personal mission to help other girls and women find their wings to fly, as it took me so long to find mine. Now, because of all of you, we are truly helping girls take flight through Girls on the Run.
Learn. Dream. Live. Run."
https://www.raceplanner.com/donate/Taking-Flight-for-GOTR
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